So, I left last night at 1 in the morning. Cincinnati to Phoenix. I figured there would be the sickest pictures of all kinds of funny shit...I was wronger, if thats a word, than a transvestite in the Womens bathroom. Theres not shit to see, nothing to do. I listened to talk radio the whole time about a guy named Billy Meier. Hes the real deal I think. He talks to Aliens, has photographs, has metals scientists can't explain. Legitmate. I ate, White Castle, Mcdonalds, and Taco Bell. Oh and some Beef Jerky too. Maybe the worst combination of foods on the entire earth. I tried to shit earlier, not 1 piece of shit came out. It was bad. I figured it would be warm out West, or atleast warmer than Cincinnati, I was fucking wrong about that too. Its fucking 43 degrees in the middle of New Mexico right now. I'm pretty sure the only way I've survived this long, is funny ass storys from my dad, cigerettes, and a shitload of soda pop.
"I was listening to talk radio a few years ago, and at the beginning of 2007 this Witch was on making predictions for the year. Like a legitimate Witch. She was a good Witch though. And she predicted that in October of 2007 the stock market would drop like hell. So in September I took all my money from GE stocks (he works at GE) and unloaded it into my account. A month later, the stock went from 42 dollars to 21 dollars. I told your mom that story and she told me I was a fucking lunatic. Its the best decision I've ever made." - My insane father. Todd Pittroff. GE stocks are $8.51 as of today. The Witch pulled through for him.
St. Louis has a worse skyline than Cincinnati.
Apparently Jesse James used to hide out in caves in Missouri.
Indian owned Casinos are all running wild in Missouri.
Oklahoma might possibly be the worst place on the face of the Earth.
Sleeping beauty. My old man. The mustache you all dream of.
There are literally hundreds of firework outlets. HUNDREDS. Everywhere.
Circle K. Always a good choice.
This is what the whole fucking ride looked like.
The Hillbillys that built this thing did a shit job.
It doesn't even come close to Touchdown Jesus, but whatever.
Everything is so flat you can see for miles around. Or see a full train.
The Flying J has Steak, Cakes, AND Eggs. I bet its delicious...
Jesus is Lord. Enough said.
You just cant fuck with a guy whose license plate says "BIGMAN."
Guys in the Gas Station, the dirtiest, grime dude you've ever seen. He buys a Samurai Sword from a vendor guy. His old lady comes out and he says to her "A rock cracked my front winder, you gonna buy me a new one right?" They were so dirty and fucked. I wish I could have got his whole setup in one picture. It was the highlight of the trip. Hillbilly Ingenuity at its finest. New Mexicos best.
Best sunsets by far.
